Before I get into this, I want to address the title of today’s column which implies that geekdom is inherently male.
That’s actually a deliberate choice, because while we’ve made serious improvements in increasing diversity over the years, the geek community tends to still conduct itself like it’s a men’s locker room. The way many geeks conduct themselves not only reinforces all the negative stereotypes about geeks (including ones that geeks perpetuate themselves – more on this in a bit) but it also chases women away.
Angry, shouty neckbeard or manchild isn’t a good look on , so why perpetuate it even further?
But hey, if appealing to your sense of community doesn’t work, I’m always willing to lead people by their balls instead, because these behaviors are like a magic trick: they make sex you relate to the things you love. Regardless, it’s about the interaction and pursuits of your passions, not just the act of consuming it.
It’s not just that you watch sci-fi movies but how they inspire you to express how you love them. One of the biggest mistakes geeks and nerds make is in the way they have a tendency to make their consumption part of their identity.
It becomes a major touchstone of who they are; they don’t just it.
You need to reaffirm your specialness at all costs, either by excluding them by definition or actively driving them away.
Religious wars aren’t fought as vehemently as “gamers” defending their beloved hobby against supposed invaders.
Watch how many “hardcore” gamers lose their shit when someone who plays Angry Birds and Candy Crush Saga calls themselves a gamer or when “walking simulators” like which they resent.
They feel that their love and consumption of the product means the creator “owes” them, and opening up to new audiences is some form of betrayal.
This means that functionally, your identity is in the hands of someone else and they ultimately don’t care about you outside of you ponying up more money for whatever they’ve rubbed their balls on. If the beancounters at Disney decide there’s more money to be made turning Star Wars into a Regency comedy of manners instead of space opera, they’ll do it and jettison the fans in a heartbeat.