“There’s a measure of independence” in non-monogamy, he says; he thinks abandoning the idea that he and his lady have to be responsible for each other’s’ every need ultimately makes their life together more sustainable.
That doesn’t mean navigating a lover’s level of emotional commitment to another person can’t be absolutely brutal. Sometimes it’s whether you can accept your partner’s level of financial stability.
So, I imagine, is 50 years spent wondering about every flirtation you could have acted on. Perhaps it’s whether helping them wrestle with their various neuroses feels like a worthwhile endeavor.
For Night Nurse, it was whether she was into Rob enough to keep dating him, bar guy or no.
That all might come off as overly pragmatic, even a little harsh.
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If you’re into hiking, Little Miss Sunshine, or The Bible, message her. “I wanted to go with him anywhere he went.” Fast-forward three years: their marriage is no longer, and Britt’s Ok Cupid profile acts as a one-two punch of invitation and warning.The old rules certainly felt applicable to Britt and John.Shortly after the wedding, going anywhere with him meant an army base in another Texan town.Britt happily followed her husband, only to find out what couples often do: that people change.... According to Britt, the “swinger culture in the military is insane,” with vast numbers of people swapping partners for the night or the weekend.But the ideas about sex and relationships Britt talks about valuing—communication, honestly, fluidity, sexual freedom—don’t come from that tradition. Nowadays, Rob is in a committed relationship with a woman he loves; they’re moving in together soon, and he still goes on dates with other people occasionally.