I’ve read your profile, and I think you sound nice…” …is way less engaging than this: “What!! Especially online, when women maybe a little more on-guard, opening with a comment on their physical appearance runs the risk of seeming shallow and off-putting.
sexy camouflage shirt - Online dating first message to a man
I don’t smoke, but don’t mind if you do…Well, message me if you want to go out.” Messages like this are not only boring (if she wants to know about you she’ll either click on your profile or, even better, ask you), but they give no indication of why you want to go out with her. Try something like this instead: “Whoa, you studied abroad in Ghana? Once she laughs, she lets her guard-down a little, she thinks you’re funny, and probably smart. Did you ask her a question, did you set-up a joke she could build on?
Not that you have to turn into Seth Rogen all of the sudden, but in general, on the internet, humor is far less abrasive than, say, ardent fervor.
Struggling to think of the right thing to say to an attractive match?
Here’s match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor with dating advice on how to give great copy.
Anyone who’s ever dated online has had that moment – the blinking cursor, the empty text box, the racing heart, and the brain so temporarily empty, it has tumbleweed running through it. Make yourself a soothing cup of tea, and we’ll talk about how to do it right.
This is basic, but sometimes daters forget that the first thing a match will do when they receive an interesting email is click on the profile of the person who sent it.
If your profile is half-finished, or Arctic in its brevity, or doesn’t include photos, most likely you won’t receive a reply. Again, don’t panic – it doesn’t have to be the best, most perfect subject line in the history of email. If your match mentions loving a specific film, use a quote from it as your subject.
If they love a certain stand-up comic, use the beginning of one of their jokes (Google is your friend at times like these).
So girls and guys must have drastically different experiences with online dating.